Expert answer:Revise my essay

Expert answer:I want the essay to be 2-3 pages, also I want one more body paragraph so it can beintroductionbody1body2body3conclusionso add one more paragraphI used to study in Australia fore one semester and this essay talking about the teacher.ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: Please add some quotes from the book (Tuesday with Morrie)
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Surname 1
Alwaleed Ayyad
English 1005A
14/Nov/2017
My Mentor
I am the middle child and the cliché stereotype about these being the independent child
owing to getting less attention from parents is true. I did not get too many responsibilities or a
sense of high expectations like my eldest sibling. In the same vein I did not get the favored
treatment and attention that my youngest sibling got. I was on my own most of the time in terms
of decision making, and I acquired a sense of independence as a child. I am grateful for the
lessons today, but at the time I felt ignored and sulked about it often. In high school, my class
teacher became the first adult to take an active interest in my life. While my parents took care of
me, they often got too busy to find out what was going on in my life, but my teacher took it upon
herself to indulge me.
She was patient and genuinely concerned for my welfare. I had taken to acting out in
school to get attention and she calmly pointed out that I was acting like a brat. She had a way
with me that made me feel admonished but also cared for. She would bluntly tell me that life did
not revolve around me and that I was old enough to make certain decisions for myself with or
without my parents’ input. She was in charge of the library and she made me her assistant every
Friday evening and Saturday afternoon. She taught me about excellence and diligence during
these hours. My hours were unpaid, but I acquired the integrity to do an excellent job just
because I had chosen to. ‘If it is worth doing, it is worth doing well. If you are not going to do it
well don’t do it at all’, she often said.
Some of the principles she instilled in me have set me apart in the corporate world today.
I learned how to be punctual, act professionally, always meet deadlines, and excellence among
Surname 2
other things through her coaching. By the time I left high school, my attitude had improved. I
complained less and appreciated more. My grades were up because I had cultivated diligence and
discipline in how I studied. I had become a responsible young adult and my family took note.
More importantly, she taught me that I had control over my life and I did not need validation to
feel accomplished. This ended my sulking over the little attention I received compared to my
siblings.
If I met my teacher today I would thank her for guiding me into adulthood and instilling
in me principles that have proved to be very helpful today. I would like to reconnect with her and
ask her about certain emerging issues that I did not foresee in high school. I miss her counsel
whenever I’m in a dilemma or need to make an unconventional decision. If I reconnected with
her I’d want to hear her story too; how she got so wise and what she saw in me that motivated
her to invest in me as much as she did. I feel that she could shed light on issues concerning
purpose and fulfilment, and help me in my quest to mentor someone and offer them the same
hope that I received from her.
…
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