Expert answer:Rough Draft Fixes
Solved by verified expert:I have written a comparative essay on CP Ellis and Ken Jackson from the
Studs Terkel Book and have received feedback from the teacher on the
fixes that need to be made. Please make sure that you have actually read the Studs Terkel book or have an actual copy
and are able to correct the comments and concerns that are on the top
of the page and ON THE SIDE. Furthermore I have attached for you the
rubric but your main focus should be the comments on my rough draft that
are ON THE SIDE AND TOP OF THE PAGE.
english_reuirements.docx
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Objective: For this essay, you are tasked with developing a conceptual argument regarding two
oral histories from Studs Terkel’s American Dreams Lost and Found. Successful essays will pay
particular attention to the language used in each oral history discussed, will offer a contestable
and conceptual argument, and will demonstrate an understanding of how a comparative approach
to rhetorical analysis might generate a richer—and more complex—understanding of the
narratives discussed.
Writing Requirements:
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MLA Formatting
3-5 pages (can be longer)
You must have a contestable and conceptual thesis statement.
You must pay particular attention to the language of the text.
Your essay must be comparative. That is, you must discuss two of the oral histories and
put them into conversation with one another.
Remember: This essay is comparative. The organization of your essay must reflect that.
To note: Do not make a claim about how all the narratives work. Instead, focus on a
couple in great detail and make assertions about those in particular.
Writing Expectations:
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The paper is on Studs Terkel’s American Dreams Lost and Found, not simply on two oral
histories within it (every paper should mention the text and Terkel AT LEAST once)
The text is from 1980—careful with this, especially in conclusions, when trying to make
claims about contemporary society.
You are writing a paper about two oral histories; NOT TWO PEOPLE. Thus,
Do not try to psychoanalyze the characters or spend considerable time thinking about
how they became the way they are
Remember, it’s about HOW the story is told. This is where language is so important.
USE TONS OF QUOTES.
For this kind of paper, summary is essentially okay. BUT, you need to (1) use quotes
from the text to evidence your claims and (2) frame the summary as a way to further your
argument
There is no burden to make a comment on life in general, or society, etc. Instead, think
about the two texts in particular. Even in conclusions, be careful with this. The two
stories might a comment on life in general or society; your job is to unpack HOW the
stories REPRESENT such a message. (AKA saying something like “By reading the two
oral histories we learn that the American Dream means, X” would be moving outside of
the texts too much.) To this point, remember that you shouldn’t say anything you can’t
prove in the context of a short paper.
A solid start here. I think, first, that you should go back to refine your argument. What are you
saying about how these two stories work? I get that both narratives frame hardship as a necessary
ingredient for success, but do explore HOW that work. Also, think about the differences between
the stories. After a bit of contemplation, you may be able to offer a stronger argument that is
clearly stated in the first paragraph.
Second, use tons of quotes! Offer a “close reading” as much as you can. Focus on the language
itself as a way to unpack HOW the stories operate. Remember, you aren’t analyzing people, but
stories.
I hope this helps! Your biggest challenge right now is to think about how these two stories are
DIFFERENT in a way that could be meaningful to your argument.
How do C.P Ellis and Ken Jackson’s childhoods have an everlasting effect on their adult lives?
Ken Jackson and CP Ellis spent their childhood and teenage years in a very rough
environment having an everlasting effect on how they view life and the world. Both had parents
that were very prideful and hard workers that tried to give them everything they wanted, in order
for them to fit in with the other kids. Unfortunately, both were outcasts and neither conformed to
society expectations of how a kid should act or look. The two had a somewhat same upbringing,
but both took different paths on what they should do with their lives. Although it lead them both
to the same outcome, which was more misery and emptiness, in their short life time.
Growing up Ken Jackson never had a sense of belonging or something that gave his life a
sense of fulfillment. He remembers when he was a kid and his family had just moved from New
York City to Brooklyn, he says “…. We were gypsies. When the rent came and nightfall came
we left” and you can tell that he become accustomed to it, almost like he had become numb to
the situation. This had an effect on his social life, because he never discusses about himself
having any friends, or any relationships of some sort. Not to mention, that it also played a major
role in his sense of stability and motivation of going to school since he says that he would only
go to school for a day and never show up for months at a time. Although he might disagree with
the connection since he says, “… I found it a terrible bore and didn’t like learning through
abuse” but I don’t believe that may have been his only reason. His mother as he describes her
was a prideful woman that refused to go on welfare that maybe could have helped their way of
life, and his father was an alcoholic, where we can sense there is some tension and resentment
since he doesn’t really talk about him or describes him like he described his mother.
Likewise, CP Ellis had a similar family structure and financial situation. Yet, you could
say he was more understanding of the situation and tried not to give his family any more trouble
than they had to deal with. Granted his father was also an alcoholic and enjoyed getting plastered
in the weekends, but he was the only one supporting the family. Moreover, his father was also
his largest influence on him as he would take him to go watch the ball games and go fishing with
him. An you could really tell that he loved his father, like when he gave his father an excuse for
getting drunk on the weekend and says “I can understand when a guy looks at his bills, and he’s
worked hard all the week, his bills are larger than his paycheck”. He also didn’t enjoy going to
school since the kids that attended his school, had nicer things than him, it made him feel inferior
to them, and lowered his self-esteem. It also made him more conscious of people’s opinions,
where it made him sometimes scared to go out with his father since they both didn’t have nice
clothes on, and he was afraid that someone would make fun of his father and humiliate his father
in front of him. You can tell that he took it really hard emotionally and physically when his
father passed away.
As you could see both didn’t have a sense of belonging or purpose and as soon as they
received an opportunity to be a part of something, to be finally included in society they took it.
They didn’t hesitate, they never looked at the consequences, they thought of it as a way or a
chance to turn their lives around and make something of themselves. Yet, when Ken Jackson
formed a gang to start robbing businesses, and when C.P. Ellis joined the KKK they began to
slowly realize, that their happiness and sense of self-satisfaction was only temporary. Although
Ken Jackson starts to realize his actions were wrong far earlier than CP Ellis, his stubbornness
and his ego kept him from changing and continuing to make excuses like when he said “My
attitude changed when I got into junk. I don’t care how much you make, if you get into junk
there is just not enough money to keep a habit going.” It was only when both had a life changing
moment (Ken Jackson’s partner being shot and CP Ellis being elected co-chairmen of the school
committee) that they really changed their lives around and they both decided to really make of
themselves. They both decided to help the communities through their life experiences and
knowledge, in order for future generations, not to repeat their past mistakes.
Studs Terkel’s American Dreams Lost and Found shows that the American dream is a
struggle and each person has his own perspective on what the American dream really is. Yet, one
thing that they have in common is the reason you struggle and go through all of these obstacles is
for the chance to create a better future for your kids and future generations. Just like how Ken
Jackson and CP Ellis struggled and made mistakes in their childhood and young adult years
before devoting their lives in trying to create a better future where future generations don’t make
the same mistakes they did. Without C.P. Ellis and Ken Jackson’s tough and troubling past they
would have never went through all the trouble of trying to help future generation’s not go
through the same mistakes and hardships of their lives.
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