Solved by verified expert:Hi, I am assigned to Peer Review 2 papers, in addition to filling a worksheet for each of them.Instructions:1. Include 3 in text comments per page.2. Include a note at the end for the writer.3. Peer Review according to the peer review guide(see attachments), and pay close attention for it in order to get the best grade.4. Follow instructions literally in the guide5. Fill a worksheet for each paper.I’d like to get the best grade possible, and I am looking for a tutor to work with through out the whole semester.
brooke.docx
hamdan_paragraph_length_and_thesis.docx
peer_review_worksheet.docx
the_guide_for_peer_review.pdf
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Brooke Anderson
Pearson Bolt
ENC 102
8 October 2017
Intermediate draft
In 2017 there have been 273 mass shootings in America. This statistic is way higher than
any other country in the world. Many Americans are pushing for gun control laws to be reformed
hoping to limit the number of innocent deaths. An organization that has been helping push the
debate on gun control restrictions is the Collation to stop Gun Violence (CSGV). Their mission
is “to secure freedom from gun violence through research, strategic engagement, and effective
policy and advocacy”. They believe that enough lives have already been taken due to gun
violence and are want to do all they can to prevent it. There are no one other countries that have
a gun violence issue and CSGV wants to follow their leads with gun laws to help lower gun
related deaths in America. The CSGV has had many campaigns to bring gun violence to the
attention of Americans who may not have experienced it first-hand. This paper shows two
campaign posters from the CSGV over the years (Coalition to stop…). Many people believe that
here needs to be stricter gun control laws in America and this is true due to the fact that America
has more mass shootings than any other country. The CSGV supports this with campaigns to
raise awareness for gun violence and makes their claims stronger with rhetoric.
The first campaign came with a poster which can be found attached to the end of this
paper. This poster came from a campaign with the Green Bay Packers. This poster shows a heart
being broken in half by a gun. Underneath the gun it says “some victims of gun violence cannot
speak. Therefore, we must speak for them.” This poster is supposed to make the audience feel
the pain of gun violence victims. It wants the audience to understand that gun violence victims
are no longer with us so we need to speak for them. It wants you to infer that the reason they
cannot speak is because they are dead due to some type of gun violence (Coallation to
stop…).This image is trying to get you to sympathize with gun violence victims so you will
donate money to the organization.
This poster used rhetoric by addressing ethos. Ethos means that is appeals to the audience
by being credible. It is credible because it is supported by two different organizations. First is
the Green Bay Packers who are running this campaign and also it is supported by my
stakeholder. My stakeholder is biased, but the Packers are an unbiased organization who
supports this cause making it more credible than just the organization that is biased. The fact that
there are two different people, one unbiased makes this a credible campaign. The Green Bay
Packers are using their popularity to draw attention to an issue they see as important.
This poster also addresses the audience with pathos The first image is supposed to make
you feel sad for the victims of gun violence. The gun is pointing right into the middle of a heart,
showing guns result in death. The use of a heart broken by a gun can also mean that guns can
only causes sadness since a broken heart symbolizes something sad. There is a quote which says
“Some victim of gun violence cannot speak. Therefore, we must speak for them.” This should
tug on the heart string of whoever is reading it, because the reason they are not there is because
they are dead due to gun violence (Crisis advocacy…). It makes you think that you would want
to speak out because at one point this could be you. This poster used the rhetoric of pathos the
most to get the audience’s attention.
The last important piece of rhetoric used is Kairos. This image appeals to time because it
is inferring that we are already too late. Victims of gun violence are already gone, and we should
have been doing something to prevent this sooner. It infers that Americans have already let too
much time go by on this issue and we could have prevented these people from dying.
The second picture can be found at the end of this paper as well. This picture is from a
campaign from the Florida branch of the Collation to Stop Gun Violence. This picture can only
be read by putting your face very close to the barrel of a gun. On the inside it says “All in favor
of gun control raise your hand. All against, raise both.” This image is supposed to instill fear in
the audience. It wants you to feel threated by the gun so you will support striker gun laws. It also
shows that if you don’t support these laws you are putting yourself in danger and at one point
you may have to put your hands up and surrender with a gun pointed at you.
This poster addresses the audience with the rhetoric of pathos. It appeals to the emotion
of fear. It can only be read by putting your face really close to the barrel of a gun. Even though it
is just a picture of a gun it is eerie to place you face so close to something so dangerous. It also
says that is you don’t support stricter gun laws you are really putting yourself in danger because
it tells you to “put your hands up” if you don’t support. It makes you realize that any day you can
be in this situation since gun violence can happen to anyone (Brady Camping…).This picture
should make you feel unsafe which is exactly what the author wants so you will support his
claim that we need to enforce gun regulations more.
The next piece of rhetoric that applies to this poster is logos. This is because It places you
in front of a gun (not literally) and makes you think about how you would react. Logically if
someone was pointing a gun at you, you would be for stricter gun laws. It places you in a
situation where you feel as if though you would need to make a decision and the author hopes
that the reader would make a logical decision that guns are in fact dangerous and are no longer
needed in America.
The Collation to Stop Gun Violence uses different types of rhetoric to prove that there
needs to be stricter laws on gun control in America. They like to appeal to pathos the most,
hoping that people will see the sadness in the loss of a life due to guns. This organization see that
gun violence is a huge issue in America, which can be fixed with gun control laws. They want
everyone to see their point of view and why it is important to get these laws reformed. They are
calling for all Americans to sympathize with the victims. The CSGV wants you think if it can
happen to anyone how long before it will happen to you?
Works Cited
“Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.” Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence |,
www.bradycampaign.org/.
“Coalition to Stop Gun Violence – The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Seeks to Secure Freedom
from Gun Violence through Research, Strategic Engagement and Effective Policy
Advocacy.” The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence, www.csgv.org/.
“Crisis Advocacy: The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence.” Bolder Advocacy,
www.bolderadvocacy.org/stories/crisis-advocacy-the-coalition-to-stop-gun-violence.
AL-SHAMSI 1
Hamdan Alshamsi
Pearson Bolt
ENC 1102-020
10-08-2017
The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICAN):
At this time, nuclear weapons are the most dangerous weapons in the world. According to
a report from Telegraph, there are 14,900 estimated nuclear weapons in the world. Telegraph
research further showed that only the nuclear weapons of the United States and Russia have the
power equating to 6,600 megatons. This is the tenth part of the power that earth daily receives
from the Sun (Kirk). If this is just the power of two countries’ nuclear weapons, just imagine
how powerful will be the combined power of all 14,900 nukes will be. On this issue, the world is
divided into two stakeholders, first are the organizations that support the idea of expanding
nuclear power because according to them it would be safer for every country to own nuclear
weapons because then no one will attack another one with the fear of Mutual Assured
Destruction. Indian government supported this stance when they were justifying their nuclear
experiments “If a mutual minimum nuclear deterrence is in place, it will act as a stabilizing
factor… Possession of nuclear weapons would give Pakistan the confidence to face a larger
neighbor with security and honors… This confidence on the part of Pakistan is to be welcomed
as it is a positive asset for national sobriety and regional stability” (Sunderji, 176). On the other
side of the picture, some nuclear pessimists oppose the idea of nuclear proliferation. An
organization like The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICAN) is prominent
in nuclear pessimist group.
AL-SHAMSI 2
According to official campaign overview, The International Campaign to Abolish
Nuclear Weapons (ICAN) is a coalition of non-government organizations in one hundred
countries advocating for a reliable and efficient nuclear weapon ban treaty. To achieve their goal,
ICAN is using various techniques of visual arguments. These visible cases range from the logo
of ICAN to the images drawn from the rallies conducted by ICAN at different places. The
strategy of ICAN is bearing fruit because their models have string rhetorical appeal and the
strong message for the people. Their visuals arguments are contributing to the cause of ICAN
effectively. Let’s take a look at two visuals obtained from the official sources of ICAN. Image
no. 1 is the official logo of ICAN. This logo itself is the message. It has an appropriate color
scheme, proper use of icons, and proper deliverance of message in a single picture.
Image # 1
Biricik supports the importance of a logo, as according to him logo is the one thing that
remains with the organization from the start until the end. It will be displayed everywhere. Logo
is the first identity that potential audience will see, therefore this audience will judge your idea
by the look of your logo (11). It’s simple, when a person will pass by an organization’s other
visual appeals, he’ll never stop to Google about that particular group. He’ll just take a look at the
AL-SHAMSI 3
logo, and if that logo has a strong appeal then that organization don’t have to explain anything
else to that person. One logo will be enough to justify everything. Similarly, the logo of ICAN
is a beautiful combination of icons and messages. First if talk about the colors, there are two
colors used in this logo. First is red and the second one is black.
According to Cerrato the color red is a sign of danger (4) and the color black is the sign
of strength (15). It is a common myth that the blood color is red, that’s why at the time of danger,
humans use red color signs. The sign of peace that was originally used for Campaign for nuclear
disarmament UK is now widely used as peace symbol in the world (The CND Symbol), in ICAN
logo this symbol is painted red because ICAN is demonstrating that peace is in danger, also the
latter “I” is painted red, means international peace is in danger. Furthermore, the black color in
“CAN” is showing the strength of campaign. The campaign is strong enough to abolish nuclear
weapons. That’s the message of ICAN logo, loud and clear.
The rhetorical appeal of this logo, on observing keenly, it is clear that the missile stuck in
the international peace symbol has an element of ethos. It is a matter of morality and credibility,
the rocket in the logo is dismantled, and if it is not demolished, it is a threat to the peace of the
world. That’s how this picture presents the credibility of ICANN’s claim about nuclear
proliferation in the world. The elements of pathos are visible in a combination of red color and
the missile in a peace symbol. The International community is in danger; this is enough to reach
someone’s emotional state of mind. Any human with mind and heart would fall for this visual
strategy. Third, the elements of logos, similar to ethos, logo speaks itself. ICAN logo is perfectly
designed according to the logic of ICAN motivation. ICAN demands the ban on nuclear weapons
for peaceful purpose, and their logo supports their claim.
AL-SHAMSI 4
Second image is taken from the website of ICAN. This picture shows some people
protesting on the behalf of ICAN, demanding complete ban on nuclear weapons.
Image # 2
There are several points that are important in this image. First, it clearly shows the
official logo of ICAN. The display of ICAN logo is the connection between these two pictures.
In literal sense and in a sense of rhetorical appeal. These people are a symbol of support for the
cause of ICAN. This is the main visual strategy of ICAN. They clicked this photo to show other
people that many people are supporting them, they showed the support of community for the
cause of nuclear ban. These are two different images but clearly connected to each other.
Second, protest is the basic right of a human and ICAN is a humanitarian organization
that works on the moto of saving humanity from a nuclear apocalyptic future. This image states
the idea of adopting humanitarian ways to achieve the goals. Pamela E. Oliver supported the idea
of such peaceful protests by writing, “Fifty years ago, sociologists considered protest to be an
AL-SHAMSI 5
undemocratic intrusion into politics. In the wake of the movements of the 1960s, protest is now
seen as an important adjunct to democratic politics and a significant factor in the transition from
authoritarian to democratic regimes” (2).
The base of ICAN is humanitarian initiative; image no. 2 actually displays the spirit of
that humanitarian initiative. According to official statement of ICAN “The catastrophic,
persistent effects of nuclear weapons on our health, societies and the environment must be at the
center of all public and diplomatic discussions about nuclear disarmament and non-proliferation.
This is the basic principle underpinning what has become known as the Humanitarian Initiative”
(Humanitarian Initiative). A practical approach in demanding the same thing can be seen in the
second image. What can be more appealing than such a picture? That’s why this image by ICAN
is a really strong visual argument.
Rhetorical appeal of this image, the unity of people supports the credibility of ICAN.
People will never follow anyone or any organization without strong claims. This unity of people
in ICAN rally is the element of ethos. Gathering of people at a place to condemn the existence of
nuclear weapons under the banner of ICAN, this rally picture itself is an example of pathos.
People are emotional about their loved ones, they gather around for the sake of the safety of their
loved ones. The element of Lagos is embedded in this picture in the form of posters that people
are carrying. These posters have the sign of ICAN printed in them. These signs make sense
according to the moto of ICAN. Final element, this peace rally by ICAN has the elements of
Kairos. Protest by the people shows the urgency of ICAN cause. They are calling people out to
make impact on international level and the history is the witness, when people gather around,
they change the course of history. That’s how this picture presents a call for change.
AL-SHAMSI 6
Concluding the topic, ICAN is doing its work in a really good way. They have a strong
stake in the issue of nuclear proliferation. As the visual arguments contribute a lot to the
campaign of an organization but these visuals must be strong and logical enough to have a
rhetorical appeal on people. ICAN’s visual arguments have strong rhetorical elements. They
clearly convey the message and their effect is long lasting. That’s why ICAN is successful in
attracting people with its visual arguments.
AL-SHAMSI 7
Work Cited
Biricik, Ash. “The role of logo design in creating brand emotion.” School of Engineering and
Sciences of İzmir Institute of Technology. 2007. p. 11. PDF.
Cerrato, Herman. “The Meaning of Colors.” Herman Cerrato Graphic Designing. 2012. p. 4-15.
PDF.
“Humanitarian initiative.” International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons. n.d. Web.
Accessed 7 October 2017. http://www.icanw.org/campaign/.
Kirk, Ashley. “How many nukes are in the world and what could they destroy?” The Telegraph
5 October 2017. Telegraph Media Group Limited. Web. Accessed 7 October 2017.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/many-nukes-world-could-destroy/.
K, Sunderji. “India’s Nuclear Weapons Policy.” Nuclear Rivalry and International Order.
Thousand Oaks and New Delhi: Sage.. p. 176. PDF.
Oliver, E, Pamela. Roa, Jorge. Strawn, Kelly. “Emerging Trends in the Study of Protest and
Social Movements.” Research in Political Sociology, vol. 11. 2013. p. 2. PDF.
“The CDN symbol.” Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament. n.d. Web. Accessed 7 October, 2017.
http://www.cnduk.org/about/item/435-the-cnd-symbol.
PEER-REVIEW WORKSHEET:
Reviewed By:
Instructions:
Read through your peer’s essay, making notes in the margins, highlighting, circling, etc. Then
answer the questions below in 2-3 sentences.
Introduction:
What is the writer’s thesis?
How does the writer prepare the reader for the essay?
After reading the introduction, what do you expect this essay to be about?
Body Paragraphs:
What do you think of the paper’s overall organization? Do the paragraphs make sense where they
are? Should anything be rearranged?
What’s the strongest paragraph? Why does it work so well?
Which paragraph needs the most work? What advice/insight can you provide to help?
Conclusion:
Does the conclusion just repeat the same info as the intro? If so, how can the writer adjust the
conclusion to look ahead instead of reflecting on what’s already been written?
Why was this essay worth reading? What did the writer teach you that you didn’t already know?
Closing Remarks:
What was the best part of this essay?
What should the writer make sure to pay attention to as he/she revises this draft?
…
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