Expert answer:fix descriptive essay
Solved by verified expert:Fix descriptive essay and write have page more, just write more details. just fix grammar and syntax errors. I will upload the original one and the one with professor’s comment
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Descriptive essay
Who doesn’t hate writing and reading? Don’t you feel boring every time you walk in an
English classroom? I do. It was excruciating for me all the time, because write and read are connect
together just like bread and butter. You’ll always need butter to make your bread more delicious. I
like English, my speaking is great because I watch American TV shows all the time and I will try
the way they talk and pronounce. But writing and reading are not my type since things that are
visualized attracted me more. Writing and reading was one the things I hate the most in my entire
life. Don’t even mention I’m a Chinese and English is my second language. I bad at writing in both
languages even Chinese is my native language. When I was in elementary school my teacher always
mad at me about it because I’m one of the worst in my class. In high school senior year I came to
America as an exchange students and this is my first time learn about how to write papers. Our first
assignment was to write eight pages research paper. It was a torture, after a long time I spent on it
and I got a C at the end. Getting in college made me glad, but I was worried at the same time.
Fortunately I was in Freshmen second language program and I met the best writing teacher in my
life, Professor John Zakrosky. He is the funnest teacher I’ve ever seen and he made me start to like
write and read.
First class, I got to the location, Somerset building ten minutes earlier. Comparing to
other old-fashion buildings I like this one the most, it looks modern. The classroom is in the
basement, it has a glass door that you can see through. There were students in it but john wasn’t here
yet. I held the metallic door handle and pulled down, I noticed it a heavy door when I pushed it. I
felt nervous because the light in the room is to bright and I found out Somerset’s room are always
bright after I took other classes in this building. It made me feel like an office the room you meet
your teacher and makes you feels like you did something wrong. Also the long table and the chair
can spin around. I checked online, it’s called office chair. I sat on the right side of the table not too
front, because its a bad spot. Teachers will always ask students who sitting there questions, so it
obviously is a spot for good student. I choose the middle seat its a good spot, not to far for me to see
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and hear and the teacher won’t focus on me. I sat and span like I always do. When I span ninety
degree to the right I could see blackboard and the platform which had a microphone on it. This
place made me feel intense, but other students didn’t seem like that. They were talking in some kind
of languages that I didn’t know. Everyone in this class are international students.
Professor Zakrosky walked in the classroom right on time. He had a big smile on his face
with his white teeth showed and beard on his face and jaw line. His eyes will curved like the arch
moon and a little bit baldness on the top of his head. He always made that face. We could feel his
enthusiasm when he walked in the room and I felt less intense. He put down his black old bag and
started introducing himself. He didn’t let us called him professor like other professors, he wanted us
called him John. Then its our turn to let everyone know about each other. I felt much closer to
everyone after this class. He said this writing class would be very different than the writing classes
we used to attend. Which is true, this class made me started to love write and read.
The second class we talked about brainstorming, which is one of the most important
things of writing. Our topic was jeans, we needed to think about whats relevant with jeans.
Everyone had something in mind, things like material, colors and the other else were mentioned.
Someone even said a pair of jeans can kill birds. The mind exploring progress took about half an
hour. I still didn’t know why we need to do this. After everyone list at least one point, we already
have almost twenty ideas. I was wondering what is this helps and professor Zakrosky started
explaining. After we got the ideas we should sort them into groups of similarity, then choose three
to four ideas for the frame of your essay. Brainstorming is a progress in order to help us to
understand the topic clearly. Just like the architectural drawing to help you build the house, and it is
very necessary. We shared our own cultures since everyone is from different countries even
professor Zakrosky shared a lot. It was a great class. I found more efficient way to help me in the
writing process.
The third class we talked about the structure on an essay. Professor Zakrosky said we need
to have a hook will appeal to your reader. That’s why every time when I read I think its boring
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because the beginning didn’t attract me. We definitely need a thesis to let our readers know the
centre of essay. The following step is write three to four paragraphs about your thesis. But the
paragraphs depend on the length of your essay. A topic sentence is also necessary. Its always hard
for me to have a topic sentence, since I loved to write things unorganizedly. At the end a conclusion
is a great summary for entire essay. Professor Zakrosky gave us homework to read an article on our
text book, since writing and reading are tightly connected together. Reading can help us explore the
ways to write. Everyone showed the “I don’t want homework face”, but he said never think about
reading is a homework, try to think you are learning something new. The article was talking about
American dreams and how this effected different immigrant. Books didn’t feel bored to me when I
began to think in this way. Richard Rodriguez once said, “Reading also enable me to sense
something of the shape, the major concerns, of Western thought”. (192) That’s right reading from
different authors allows me to learn various of cultures.
Professor Zakrosky used he humorous and personal experiences helped me became a
better writer and reader. He let us listen to songs and learn the lyrics of a famous American singer.
Showing us video of famous American movies. Also classmate’s sharing of their own unique
cultures. This is a class helps me learn how to write and read by upon all these new things. When I
first walk in the classroom felt like the light was to bright would have blind my eyes, until now I
figured out the light was leading me to success. I hope one day I will become someone like Richard
Rodriguez said, “Thus, after a long tedious effort for years, I finally succeeded in learning how to
write”. (188)
Work Cited
Richard Rodriguez. “The Lonely, Good Company of Books.” The McGraw-Hill Reader: Issues
across the Disciplines, edited by Gilbert H. Muller, 12th ed., McGraw-Hill, 2014, pp. 189-193
Douglass, Frederick. “Learning to Read and Write.” The McGraw-Hill Reader: Issues across the
Disciplines, edited by Gilbert H. Muller, 12th ed., McGraw-Hill, 2014, pp. 184-188.
…
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