1. Need help to identify places where sentence don’t follow

1. Need help to identify places where sentence don’t follow one… 1. Need help to identify places where sentence don’t follow one another logically and suggested revision. 2. Look for places where sentences lack variation–that is, places where groups of sentences are overly simplistic, repetitive, or lack transitions 3. Look for places where the writing lacks detail (phrases such as “a lot,” “a great deal of time,” “big,” “small,” “good,” “most,” “lots,” “things,” etc.) Point to specific places in paper where the writing seems a bit vague or general and suggest revisions. Be specific. 4. Look for places where the writing is overly informal or conversational (i.e., phrases such as “look through,” “put together”). Point to those places where the writer might use more sophisticated language to convey his/her message and suggest specific revisions. Be specific. 5. Look for places where writing is overly repetitive–that is, places  where the writer seems to repeat the same idea or phrase. Point to those places and suggest specific revisions. Be specific. 6. Look for places where the writing is overly wordy–that is, places  where the writer seems to use words or phrases that are not needed to convey the message, or places where sentences contain more words than are necessary. Point to those places and suggest specific revisions. Be specific. 7. What revisions (that were not covered by the questions above) would you suggest? Suggestions might include criteria that is specific to this particular assignment (i.e., MLA documentation, decisions writer made concerning quotations, how the writer chose to organize the essay, etc.) 8. Overall feedback    In the field of Sociology, there is no shortage of debatable topics. Individuals, cultures, and societies are constantly evolving and adapting to new information, making the issues of identity, policy, and technology ever-moving targets. One of the more recent topics being debated by sociologists is the rising trend in virtual reality and what effects this may have on society. Virtual reality is a relatively new phenomenon. The technology required to make virtual reality available to the masses has only been developed within the last two decades. This is perhaps what makes this topic one of particular interest to me, because there is very little historical data available to predict the implications virtual reality may have on society in the future. We are living in the most advanced society the world has ever known, so it is rare to have the opportunity to study a topic in its infancy. The aim of this proposal is to determine what effects, positive or negative, virtual reality may have on the population. Is this technology lending itself to global cohesion through people being able to interact with anyone, anywhere, at any time, or are we as a population trending towards a total loss of the social skills necessary for face-to-face interaction? Are the benefits of virtual reality in the sectors of health, research, and entertainment enough to outweigh the risks of isolation, over-dependency, and a false sense of security?As with any technological advancement, the strides that have been made in virtual reality carry with them tangible benefits to society. In the article, Virtual Reality Clinical Research: Promises and Challenges, published by the Journal of Medical Internet Research, it is noted that “over the last 20 years, VR clinical applications have expanded to address other phobias and anxiety disorders. The most common approaches in this field have been to model virtual environments after existing exposure therapies using graduated exposure to a VR version of the object or situation that causes distress and use of VR cognitive behavioral therapies.” Exposure therapy has long been a staple of clinical psychology, and virtual reality can serve to expose a patient to their fear stimuli without posing any real danger. Surgeons also benefit from advances in virtual reality through being able to simulate surgeries and procedures without threat to a living patient. In the article, The Development of Laparoscopic Skills Using Virtual Reality Simulations: A Systematic Review, virtual reality simulations were shown to “provide safe, controlled environments, with reusable resources and with techniques that can be more easily measured when compared to practice in real models, reducing the learning curve.” These articles highlight the ability of virtual reality to create low-risk environments where skills can be honed, and patients can be treated.  The fear of negative consequences associated with virtual reality stems not from the technology itself, but rather the notion that an individual could become too immersed and too dependent on the technology. A research article published in Frontiers in Psychology explored the relationship between depression and over-use of virtual reality games, and they found that “it is expected that social VR gamers’ level of depression will have a negative relationship with their well-being.” Most psychologists agree that maintaining healthy social connections and relationships with friends and family contribute positively to an individual’s well-being. Immersing oneself in virtual realities for extended periods of time can lead to a withdrawal from and neglect of relationships in actual reality, leading to depression. Another danger of virtual reality is an atrophy of the soft skills needed to interact with others face-to-face, leading to a feedback loop that makes creating and maintaining relationships difficult. Doug Fodeman argues in his article, The Impact of Technology on Socialization and Communication Skills that “certain types of technology used by children and teens can severely diminish their communication and socialization skills if used to avoid difficult face-to-face conversations that are necessary for healthy and normal development.” Like most acquired skills, learning to navigate social interactions is a skill that must be developed and practiced, lest it be lost. Along these same lines, one of the most well documented drawbacks of virtual reality and social media is the increase in cyber-bullying. It is much easier to voice unpopular opinions or retaliate against someone cloaked in the anonymity of an online avatar. Social norms adhered to in modern cultures help mitigate against these outbursts in real life. Online, however, bullying and angry rants are much more frequent. In an article published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, researchers examined the link between bullying and social media rumination and found that “social media usage is linked with increased bullying (Shams et al., 2017) and cyberbullying (Best et al., 2014; Shah et al., 2019). Given that social media use, in general, is associated with increased psychosocial distress (Vogel & Rose, 2017), it is possible that certain aspects of social media engagement could compound negative outcomes of students who experience peer victimization.” It is clear that advances in virtual reality and social technologies have several negative outcomes, namely the underdevelopment of social skills, the risk of social withdrawal, and the increase of bullying due to the false sense of security provided by virtual avatars.Sociologists agree that advances in technology are generally to society’s benefit. The rise in virtual reality capability has led to better training for surgeons, safer treatments for therapy patients, and far-reaching access across the globe. These benefits make virtual reality a worthwhile endeavor. The main debate centers around our understanding of how much is too much when it comes to these new technologies. It appears that teens and young people are especially susceptible to overuse of virtual reality and social media, which has been proven to have negative consequences. As people rely more heavily on virtual relationships as a substitute for in-person contact, we begin to see a decline in social skills and an uptick in cyberbullying. Of the two sides, the argument for the continuance of virtual reality seems to be more persuasive. The benefits to healthcare alone arguably make enough of an impact on our health and well-being to offset the drawbacks. One of the main reasons these arguments are more persuasive could be due to the overall lack of research into the negative aspects of virtual reality. However, there are numerous scholarly articles exploring the benefits of this technology, so there is reliable evidence that virtual reality will ultimately be for the betterment of society.     Arts & Humanities English ENGL 1001

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