Expert answer:English Portfolio revision of 2 essays self reflec
Expert answer:The specific detailed instructions are included in the 2 attached files, you need to follow exactly what is asked for best possible grade, i also attached the 2 essays that need to be revised(please do not skip anything that is being asked for thank you)What the portfolio packet contains in hard copy: 1. The two completely revised essays (PE1 and PE2) with changes highlighted in a light color or put in bold font. NOTE: the above essays must also be submitted through the link online. 2. The self-reflective essay(2 pages) 4. Portfolio introduction: brief paragraph for each essay explaining the major revisions you made and why. If there is any information I need to know regarding your portfolio (such as the original essay having been reviewed online), add that note.
fa17_portfolio_assignment.docx
proofreading_checklist_for_portfolio.docx
essay_1_final.docx
essay_2_final_.docx
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Fall 2017 Portfolio Assignment
For the portfolio, you will substantially revise E1-3 and E2-3 to create totally new essays. Everything that you need to
know about this assignment is listed on this document as well as frequently asked questions, but if you have
additional questions, please email me well in advance of the end of the semester.
What is the portfolio assignment?
You’ve done a fair amount of writing this semester, and we have worked on many aspects of the writing process. We
have also discussed all the choices you have at your disposal to create the strongest essays possible. This assignment
takes the place of a final exam and is your opportunity to demonstrate your writing skill through the choices you
make and the manner in which you execute them. If you want to think of it as a test of what you have learned and
how you have developed as a writer, by all means, consider it so. It is not a difficult assignment to understand, but it
should take plenty of time and thought to actually accomplish effectively, which is why work on it begins right after
you receive E1 back.
How is the portfolio evaluated?
Like all other essays, the FYW assessment criteria (located in Introductory module) provide the framework for
evaluation. Revision was one of the elements I used to evaluate your essays. With the portfolio, effective revision
counts much more heavily.
What exactly do you mean by “substantial” revision?
Because of the substantial amount of credit that you get for this portfolio-25% of your final grade, substantial
revisions are just that. We’re not just talking about patching up some grammar or punctuation errors, adding a
sentence or changing the order of paragraphs and sending the essay on its way. We are not talking about “fixing”
your essay. We’re talking about taking a long hard look at the essay and deciding what it needs to be the best it can
possibly be. By reviewing the feedback you have received from me and from your peers, you should be able to “resee” your work through fresh eyes.
In order to revise, you must look upon E1-3 and E2-3 as rough drafts. They contain a central focus and points that you
may want to develop through research, but you might find it more fruitful to isolate a minor point in the essay and
develop it as the major focus instead. Feedback from me on the final draft may have resulted in your deciding to
move in a different direction as well. Portfolio revision is all about choices, and you have many to make.
This is not mere addition; it is careful consideration and decision-making. Your portfolio demonstrates the
decisions you have made as a writer and reflects the course work of this semester. In addition, the successful
portfolio essay will demonstrate how hard you have worked on the small aspects of writing that have such an impact
on clarity—the grammatical and mechanical issues. Remember that not every issue was pointed out. That is up to
you to discover and correct. The portfolio essay must not contain spelling errors, typos, grammar problems that we
have discussed in class or that have been pointed out in your papers, punctuation errors, or MLA format problems,
especially the obvious ones of citation, documentation on the Works Cited page, margins, heading, pagination, title
treatment, and so forth. Your skills have increased and you know more now about organization and claim, about how
to add in outside voices and provide counterargument than you likely did in the very beginning of the semester. This
portfolio represents your best work. It’s the “last dance,” to borrow from Donna Summer, for your papers. Don’t
send them out without being properly attired or they will undoubtedly have a disappointing time. You must highlight
or put in bold font any major revisions to the portfolio.
What types of sources can be used?
The primary sources you will use will be the texts you discuss. For the required secondary sources, you must use a
minimum of 2 scholarly sources for each of the portfolio essays. These will most likely be found in the library’s
database or stacks. You may additionally use other secondary sources once the initial 2 have been satisfied. These
include: government documents or other historical documents, newspaper or magazine articles, films, art, music, or
essays. Dictionaries, encyclopedias, Wikis, blogs, student writing, and the like are not legitimate sources to count for
one of the two required. For other sources, please check with me.
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What are some ways I could rethink my essay?
This is where it gets exciting! You are the creator of the original essay and now you are daring to look on it as an
unfinished piece of writing. You are able now to re-see your original draft with fresh eyes opened in some ways
through research. You are reacting to what you have explored and read in your research. You can accomplish your
revision in a number of ways. Here are some suggestions:
✓ You can isolate a brilliant idea or two from the essay to develop as a new central focus.
✓ Argue against a popular interpretation that you have seen a few times in your research.
✓ Agree with a critic or critics about an interpretation but extend the argument (it’s never enough just to
agree).
✓ Move your argument to a larger sphere. Is the writer or poet asking for recognition of a situation or
explaining a new way to think about a historical fact or event?
✓ Discuss a technique that a writer/poet utilizes to various effects.
Remember – this revision is your choice. You get to decide how to steer this project and what your inspiration is.
Writers’ choices – the way you assert authority and own your essay
You have many choices to make as a writer. You are the gatekeeper of your essay; nothing should be allowed into
your essay without your making a conscious choice to allow it. You will obviously be providing a logical argument
with a debatable claim, but you will be performing other operations in the essay as well like describing, introducing,
conceding, countering, explaining, analyzing, discussing and connecting, to name a few. You have some other choices
to make to create a strong and effective piece of writing. Some of the choices you make will involve:
Audience – Awareness of your readers helps you to decide what must be stated and what is assumed and the level of
formality in the essay. Consider your audience for your work to be the greater literate university community.
Sources – You have requirements as to type and number but the choice of whom you allow to speak in your essay is
yours. Make sure you are aware of the credentials of all of your sources and that you share those with your readers
as appropriate. Make sure you represent the source fairly. Vet the writer and the publication. Sources are carefully
evaluated as part of the grade of the essay. Just punching the ticket for the number of sources will not help you to
create a successful essay. Be an effective gatekeeper!
Evidence: Find and weigh evidence. Some choices will be better than others. Know why you are including this
particular piece of evidence and not another. Choose and use wisely!
Voice: Your voice makes your essay your own. Project the tone you believe is most appropriate for your purpose,
audience, and content. Consider your ethos as you write and think about how to establish that in the essay. Balance
the “I” statements in your essay and use only when appropriate and necessary. Remember that “I believe,” “I think,”
“It’s my opinion” and the like are redundant in your essay. The essay is all your opinion unless you bring in an outside
source; readers will know because of your citation and documentation.
For every essay this semester, we have written multiple drafts, revising after each one through continued thinking
and response to feedback offered by me and from your peers. We have discussed creating strong claims, organizing
the argument to best advantage, developing the argument with effective evidence, cogent points, fresh analysis and
intelligent discussion that aim to interpret and connect the evidence back to the claim. All of these skills come into
play in creating your portfolio.
Requirements for each essay
Length: about 5 to 6 pages but can be longer if you wish.
Sources: Minimum of 2 scholarly sources, described above, for each essay. You may use additional sources of your
choice.
Style: MLA – format of document, title formats, citation and documentation, margins,
spacing, header and pagination, indentation.
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Submission: Submit the portfolio final drafts (PE1 and 2)through the links in Canvas and hand in the portfolio packet
in hard copy to me in my office (Schmitt 302). See “What the Portfolio Contains” below for details.
Self-Reflective Essay
Length: About 2 pages
After assessing your growth over this semester, reflect on your journey and identity as a writer and scholar. It’s the
end of the semester at last! You are probably tired, a little wired from late nights and a lot of studying, and
anticipating some well deserved rest and relaxation once you have finally typed your last paper and taken your last
exam. You have worked hard and, consequently, grown in different ways. Part of what college helps you to do is to
think critically, to question and evaluate. This semester we have been exploring various literary genres and
responding to the literary works—not as an end in itself but a means to help you to hone the skills you will need
throughout your life, well after you leave college. These include interpretation, analysis, logic, clarity, and connection
to concepts larger than merely the matter at hand. Think back on the work you have done this semester and examine
how you feel you have grown as a critical thinker. You may reference specific assignments or essays, if you wish, but
consider mostly how reading literature and writing about it has affected you. My expectations of this essay are that
it will be reflective, error-free, and completely you.
What the portfolio packet contains in hard copy:
1. The two completely revised essays (PE1 and PE2) with changes highlighted in a light color or put in bold font.
NOTE: the above essays must also be submitted through the link online.
2. The self-reflective essay
3. The original E1-3 and E2-3 with my comments on the draft. If your draft was not evaluated in hard copy but online,
please put that note on the portfolio introduction.
4. Portfolio introduction: brief paragraph for each essay explaining the major revisions you made and why. If there is
any information I need to know regarding your portfolio (such as the original essay having been reviewed online),
add that note.
Note: you will be submitting 6 items.
Do NOT put a cover (plastic or paper) on the portfolio or staple the entire packet together. It should be held
together with a binder clip. Each individual piece in the portfolio should be stapled. Do not use paper clips for any
part of this packet.
Submitting the Portfolio
Open our Canvas Course. Select “Modules” and then scroll to Portfolio module.
Select “Portfolio Submission.”
When the page opens, select the appropriate link for the essays. PE1 and PE2 are uploaded through the same link.
The portfolio must be submitted in order to be considered for a passing grade in the class.
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Proofreading Checklist for Portfolio
Here are some important considerations as you proofread your portfolio essays. All of these contribute to a solid
piece of writing. Your portfolio represents the best writing of which you are capable at this moment in
time. It is the result of careful intellectual work and decision-making. It reflects the skills we have
practiced during the semester: strong claims; solid logical organization (including internal para
structure); adequate development with examples, quotations, data and strong connections to the main
focus; cogent and interesting analysis; error-free clear prose.
Sources / Citation / Documentation
Contains a minimum of 2 scholarly secondary sources in each essay.
Can have additional sources.
Direct quotations from the literary text are formatted correctly (Conventions docs on Canvas).
All quotations, paraphrases, and summaries are cited in the body of the essay either parenthetically or with
a signal phrase.
Every quotation is introduced and integrated into your para as smoothly as possible.
All Works Cited entries are checked against the models in the Canvas pdf.
Citations match the entry on the Works Cited
If found on Canvas, Works Cited entries contain the proper suffix.
Format and Requirements
Essay has a heading, header and page numbers, and title properly formatted.
Entire document is double-spaced.
Title offers a good idea of my topic.
Each essay is about 5-6 pages long in 12 pt. font (Times New Roman or similar), double-spaced, with 1inch margins. This is about 1500 words min. Can be longer as you wish.
Assessment Criteria: Revision
Claim offers some complexity, is debatable, is as original as possible, is worthy of attention.
Argument is organized logically. There is an obvious plan for why one para follows another.
Focus – the essay has one central focus.
Internal paragraph structure (topic sentence, evidence, analysis, connection) is followed.
Transitions are used to move readers from one para to the next and in paras themselves when needed.
Every quotation is explained or analyzed.
Paragraphs are fully developed with clear points, evidence to support the point, analysis and discussion.
Counterargument is used whenever needed.
Analysis is original and helps readers to see your point.
Have I shown my readers why my argument matters—why it is significant?
Clarity
Punctuation has been checked for comma splices, incorrect comma & semicolon use.
There are no sentence fragments or run-on sentences.
Troublesome words (a lot, apart/a part, their/there, to/too, affect/effect, woman/women, etc. are correct.
Agreement issues (pronoun/antecedent, subject/verb) have been resolved.
Singular possessive case, plural possessive case, and simple plural words are correctly formatted.
Spelling – I’ve checked all possible errors pointed out by spellcheck and any words of which I am not
100% certain.
Revision
The essay reflects significant re-seeing and re-thinking about the original argument and
comprehensive changes are evident throughout. While the claim may not have been changed (but it
certainly may have been) to a great degree, the argument has been deepened, enhanced, supported
with at least one outside source and offers fresh analysis, not in the original essay.
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Kevin Tirpanciyan
Professor Dowd
Writing 106
15 September 2017
Perception of Economic Mobility in A&P
A contemporary social issue lies in the idea of economic mobility and whether or not the
idea of the American Dream still rings true. Are views and attitudes more optimistic or
pessimistic regarding economic mobility in comparison to a few decades ago? Does
America still offer its citizens an equal opportunity to achieve success through their hard?
John Updike’s short work “A & P” offers insight into why people feel optimistic or
pessimistic about their conditions of economic mobility through its characterization of
Sammy and Stokesie, respectively. “A & P” crafts an interesting narrative in that it
contextualizes Sammy and Stokesie as equals in terms of their social standing relative to
other characters such as the store’s manager and the girls as well as their social attitudes.
However, despite the similarity of their circumstances, Sammy appears to believe that
there exists much more opportunity for him to move beyond his job at “A & P” while
Stokesie feels restricted. Sammy decides to sacrifice his career in a flamboyant gesture to
protest his manager, Lengel’s, criticism of the girls’ inappropriate dress. While this seems
like a vain gesture on the surface, Sammy still has family obligations and ties to worry
about like Stokesie. The greatest distinction between Sammy and Stokesie that seems to
influence their attitudes and biases regarding their jobs at A & P present in how Sammy
envisions his own future visions during his introspective reflections.
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Primarily, a significant part of this social critique centers around the similarity of
Stokesie and Sammy. Because the story approaches the events from Sammy’s first person
perspective, readers are able to gather introspective moments from Sammy that help
inform how and why he makes certain decisions. Towards the beginning of the story,
Sammy notes that he shares a lot of traits with Stokesie in one of these introspective
moments: “Stokesie’s married, with two babies chalked up on his fuselage already, but as
far as I can tell that’s the only difference. He’s twenty-two, and I was nineteen this April”
(Updike 192). From this, it is evident that Sammy and Stokesie hold the same social
station and perform similar functions at A & P as co-workers. They are similar in age but
differ slightly in that Stokesie may be a bit more risk opposed due to the fact that he
supports a family and has a wife already. However, Stokesie shares the same social
attitudes and motivations as Sammy. For instance, they are empathetic to each other’s
feelings towards Queenie’s group, as Sammy notices that: “She must have felt in the
corner of her eye me and over my shoulder Stokesie in the second slot watching, but she
didn’t tip” (Updike 192). Noting that Stokesie and Sammy exist as similar characters in
their social and economic circumstances allows us to construct a comparison between
why Sammy elects to quit on a impulse while Stokesie remains.
Moreover, the girls function as a catalyst for motivating Sammy to quit his job as
he begins to fantasize about what the girls represent in the larger context of society, the
high life. Significantly, Sammy’s own introspection shows that he believes luck in his
favor in comparison to Stokesie when the girls choose who to approach to check out their
items: “Slots Three through Seven are unmanned and I could see her wondering between
Stokes and me, but Stokesie with his usual luck draws an old party in baggy gray pants
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who stumbles up with four giant cans of pineapple juice (what do these bums do with all
that pineapple juice’ I’ve often asked myself) so the girls come to me” (Updike 193). With
this thought, Sammy relegates Stokesie to a background role. He believes that this is the
usual state of affairs when he comments on Stokesie’s “usual luck.” Thinking about this
attitude that Sammy takes towards luck is important in helping to understand his
motivations. Sammy feel optimistic about luck and his life in general. At one point while
Queenie is speaking to Lengel, Sammy starts to daydream about her wealthy background,
inferring it from the sound of her voice: “All of a sudden I slid right down her voice into
her living room. Her father and the other men were standing around in ice-cream coats
and bow ties and the women were in sandals picking up herring snacks on toothpicks off
a big plate and they were all holding drinks the color of water with olives and sprigs of
mint in them” (Updike 193). In the following sentences, Sammy compares his rich, lavish
characterization of Queenie’s parents and social background that with his own parents.
The comparison leaves him with a deep feeling of dissatisfaction. This dissatisfaction
coupled with the belief that he is “lucky,” propels Sammy towards his decision to quit his
job at A & P.
Furthermore, Sammy’s deflated expectations after quitting his job and realizing
that the girls are long gone characterizes an attitude that troubles the unemployed
regarding the uncertainty of their fate. At the start, Sammy feels confident about his act
of quitting the job and assures himself that following through with the signal fully
represents the right thing to do. The scene where Updik …
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